Don’t leave home without the Emergency Horse Noisemaker

You’ve got the Horse Mask, but your whinnies are pathetic. It’s hard to creep people out when your horse sounds make everyone around you point and laugh. Use this Emergency Horse Noisemaker to push your Horse Mask trolling to the next level!

This electronic device features four sounds (neigh, whinny, snort and gallop) that catapult you into the stratosphere of awesome horse trolling. Also good for phone conversations that could stand to be a lot horsier. Wear your Horse Mask secure in the knowledge that your horse noises won’t be hoarse noises. Batteries included.

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Edgar Allan Poe Action Figure

As the inventor of the modern horror and mystery story, surely Edgar Allan Poe deserves to be a honored with a very pale Edgar Allan Poe Action Figure, complete with a raven that can perch on his shoulder. Use it to help you inspire your own writing or mix him with your other action figure to make a brand new episode of Dr. Who.

Stare at it long enough and you will become insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity. This is the action figure that lives in fear of being buried alive in your toy box.

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Abraham Lincoln Salt and Pepper Shakers

Honest Abe wants to emancipate the flavor in your food.
Abraham Lincoln Salt and Pepper Shakers, the spice applicators that look like the Great Emancipator. They’re stackable!

After purchasing these, you may find that the sight of a five dollar bill starts to make you hungry.

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Exploding Popcorn Candy

Exploding Popcorn Candy tastes like butter and starts popping as soon as it hits your tongue. This is the only way to get the two best parts of popcorn, butter and popping, actually in your mouth at the same time. Makes your breath smell like a movie theater lobby!

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